Lately, we’ve been arguing so much to the point that we think of ending up our relationship. It is true that after the super inlove and kilig moments, you’ll both face reality. Reality of facing and accepting each others differences and how are we able to handle our conflicts.
Eto yung problema sa palagi kayong magkasama, nawawala yung pagiging independent mo specially sa part nung mas physically and emotionally weak and on our part, unfortunately ako yun. Ako yung mahina, ako yung palaging naka-depende. Sometimes I feel that I was just a girl behind his back and under his name, parang wala ng Joma.
One day I asked him, “after graduation, do you still see us together?” and he answered, “oo naman, bakit ikaw?” and I replied, “parang malabo na eh”.
Maybe I said that because of my insecurity, feeling ko masyado ng maliit yung mundong ginagalawan namin. Iniisip ko na parang na-dominate o na-invade na niya yung lugar ko na hangga’t anjan siya palagi lang ako naiisasantabi ng mga tao kasi palaging siya yung magaling, palaging siya yung bida. And with that, I find myself competing with him. There are times that I’m being stubborn because I wanted him to feel that I am strong and can do anything even without him. I wanted to prove myself not only to him, but also other people.
Yes I love him, there’s no doubt about it. Maybe I just wanted to grow, kasi siya nag grow na eh, ako hindi pa. And the best solution that I think is that we need to grow apart from each other. Pero iniisip ko pa lang, parang hindi ko na kaya. Sobrang nega ko lang talaga siguro.
Right now, we are okay and happy. I just wanted to say that he is the best person I’ve ever known to the point that I even got insecured with him which is dapat hindi kasi we’re partners and I should be grateful to that because I have him.
I wanted to say sorry for him. Sorry that I put so much pressure in myself well in fact you never asked nor expect anything from me like I always do to you. Sorry if I feel that you’ve been controlling and manipulating me all the time for the standard of a perfect relationship that you want for us. I’m sorry for everything.